back & ready
Well. I’m back from my little unannounced blog hiatus (which, to be totally honest, was kind of a real-life hiatus because I’ve been a total homebody for the last week or so).. and it was so needed. I took the time to clear out my google reader & just soak in some awesome things, I’ve worked on an intense Visual Communication final project (creating a magazine spread) and realized that I really love design- even if I’m not a natural born at it. I’ve worked my second Black Friday in a row at the same retailer, at 4:15am, and loved the rush. I’ve had more pumpkin spice (and gingerbread. LOVE.) lattes than I can count on one hand, and I’ve found my new favorite lotion- Bath & Body Works Cashmere something or other. It’s delicious.
There’s just something about a break that is so completely necessary and refreshing, I feel like I’ve had entire mood makeover. Suddenly Thanksgiving is over, and we’re diving head first into Christmas trees and red & silver ornaments all over the place. Christmas lights and gingerbread men, and all I want to do is eat mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. Nightly. It’s nice (if a little bad for my waistline)..
..speaking of my waistline, I’ve actually been kicking butt getting into a new workout routine. It’s entirely home based since, well, I’m broke.. but I’ve found that it works just as well as going to the gym. I’m not noticing any differences yet, but I do love the soreness in my upper body the day after a night of working out- it’s all newfound strength that I wasn’t totally expecting.
Basically? My break was nice. And I just wanted to pop in on this Sunday and say a little bit- mainly that I’m back & refreshed- and if you think you might need a break? TAKE IT. You won’t regret it. You’ll feel fantastic. Promise.
Project Simplify: The Bedroom
When Matt and I moved in together, we each brought bags and bags of clothes. Like, a gross amount. And seeing as I always seem to think I’ll eventually wear something, and he’s simply a pack rat, these clothes never got filtered. None got given away to friends, none got donated, and certainly none were thrown away. Now, if you live in an apartment, you know that it can be VERY HARD to find a place with a great closet. And even if there is one great closet? Chances are it isn’t enough for two people. Which can be a problem.
Which, actually, WAS a problem for the two of us. Our sheer amount of clothing combined with our lack of time resulted in us wearing clothes, throwing them in a hamper/on the bed/over the chair/on the floor and then wearing something else. Laundry was a luxury, and why bother- since we had so many replacements?
Slowly, I stopped being able to see our floor. Our beautiful, refinished, wood floor was absolutely covered with the likes of The Limited and the Gap and (duh) Target. I closed the door constantly, just looking in the bedroom made my heart beat a a bit faster- made me feel like my whole life was cluttered since I couldn’t walk to my bed without stepping on at least three outfits.
I promised myself months ago that I’d simplify my life- and today, I simplified a HUGE chunk. I cleaned the monstrosity. I filled three full sized garbage bags to bring to Goodwill, and I sat Matt down and forced him to purge some of his things, too. And, you guys? It feels PHENOMENAL. Seriously. We watched TV in the room tonight just because it felt so good to actually be able to enjoy the room.
It took me about 5 hours altogether- especially considering all of the trips to the washer/ dryer downstairs (NEVER have I been more thankful to have one of those sets in my basement). It took forever but it feels sooo good. Also, I fully realize how old I seem. Cleaning my room has brought me an inane (and nerdy) amount of happiness. Whatevs. Try it. You’ll feel good too.
Hibernation
Last week, I got my promotion & started working in my new position. I made all of those plans- and set the wheels in motion- for my double major/ early graduation. I decided how I wanted to spend my next birthday, figured out where I was going, & how much the flights were going to cost me.
And then? Something happened.
It’s like I have plan-overload on my brain, and I started getting insanely overwhelmed. Instead of looking at my list of classes & getting excited (like last week), I looked at them and felt exhausted and a little bit nervous. I was so exhausted and bursting with new random knowledge at the end of my first two days on the new job and I just wanted a week off to digest. I contemplated how nice it would be to take a week off of work for my birthday and just sit at home- instead of my original plan involving flights and experiencing new cities.
I needed time. I needed to digest. I needed to adjust, and, really, I still do.
There’s this strong part of me that just wants to go into hiding for a bit- mainly from work and school. I feel like those two things have been pulling at me for so long that I haven’t had the time or motivation to finish what I really want to do. I need to relax. I need to clean my room and do more laundry than I think my little machine can handle. I need to play with my cat and drink wine (or, Andre, if we’re being honest) with my boy. And I mean that seriously. There’s a bottle in my fridge that’s been sealed for over a week. A WEEK. I don’t know what happens in your household, but that does NOT happen in mine.
I think that I’m just going to take these next few days to catch up on myself. I think it’s pretty necessary. What do you do when you just need a break from your life?
taking control
Given the fact that I have an insanely Type A personality, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my academic advisor adores me. I walked in there today, potential class schedule in hand, loaded with all of the answers to any question he could possibly ask me. And I realized that these answers? I’m completely sure of.
I can’t remember the last time I felt so in sync with my life- my goals are finally starting to line up and become things that I can actually achieve. Coming from a girl that has changed her major just shy of 8 times, that’s a pretty awesome thing to be able to say.
Somewhere along the way I realized that there are two types of people: the people that talk about what they want to do, & the people that put their plans into action. With one too many failed attempts at “pursuing” what I wanted to do, I realized it was time to take my life- my future- into my own hands.
& so I did.
I signed off on my petition for graduation today. Which means that one year from now, right before my 22nd birthday, I’ll be graduating college. And if everything goes as planned, I’ll do it with two degrees in hand. Because double majoring and graduating early are two things that I’ve always talked about wanting to do, and now I’m making them happen. And that excites me more than I can really get across on this little blog.
Seriously- taking advantage of your possibilities is such an awesome way to live your life. Think about what you want to do- and follow through. That’s it. Come up with a plan instead of simply creating the goal. Staring at a life list will do you no good- crossing things off will make you feel incredible.
Maybe what I’m doing isn’t so amazing. People do it all the time. But the fact that I’m finally recognizing what I want AND actively pursuing it is what makes this so amazing to me. It’s something everybody should try.
this weekend i…
- got a promotion & found out that my boy ALSO got a promotion, which clearly means big things for this little apartment. (More steak dinners? Yes, please)
- had a couple drinks with some good friends (& found out who reads this blog, which may or may not freak me out just a little bit. Remember the old blog, the old anonymity? I’m growing! I think)
- got picked up and taken out to breakfast and for a walk around a forest preserve on the most beautiful November day in the history of.. ever? It was literally the most perfect morning I could’ve asked for.
- decided to ask my neighbor if I could borrow his dog for a more common walk in that forest preserve- considering the cat hates her harness on the deck, I can’t imagine she’d make a good walking buddy anywhere else.
- played with my camera & took pictures of the cat. I managed to take some good alien-like ones which I posted to twitter because, come on, she REALLY looks weird. But I got some that I managed to like a bit, too..
Love the little water droplets on the whiskers. Also, I need new things to photograph. Seriously.
- went to a book reading for one of my favorite authors, Kate Jacobs of The Friday Night Knitting Club series. You know those books that you just instantly fall in love with, and the authors that you can completely relate to? Yeah. It’s like that. Thinking of hosting a giveaway soon since her new book just came out!
- worked my first day in my new spot and realized it’s not THAT scary.
- had drinks & appetizers with some coworkers/ good friends to say goodbye to an awesome manager. They’re fun to hang out with so good times were had- even if I do play into the little sister role since I’m the youngest of the group.
- um. didn’t want the week to begin? Lots of homework due this week- not to mention test stores coming back to me that I really don’t think I want to see..
How was your weekend?
it wasn’t supposed to work out this way..
In the household I grew up in, we had one dog. She’s like 13 now, and she’s still fantastic. She was really obsessed with all 4 of us, and we never added any other animals into the mix (not any with staying power, at least) because she just wouldn’t allow it. Which was only really annoying because she clearly favored my dad. CLEARLY. I mean, followed him around. Ate off of his plate. Laid near the door when he was supposed to be getting home. If he was around? It was as if you weren’t.
So when I moved out, I LOVED the idea of adopting a pet. Something of my own? That would love ME the most? The thought was almost too much to handle.
Enter : Boots.
And yes, she does walk around with her tongue hanging out. We’re training her to be a dog, basically. We’ve already taught her to sit, and we’re still working on the whole “coming when she’s called”, “giving the paw”, “not crapping on the good rugs”. She’s a work in progress, but she’s cute, so it’s okay.
It’s not the cuteness that I’m having issues with.
It’s the BLATANT love of the boy over me. I mean, he picks her up? She puts her tiny little paws up in his neck and holds on. I pick her up? She does that for a second, and then frantically meows and squirms to be let down. I call her? She looks at me. He snaps his fingers? She sprints. I don’t get it! I feed her, play with her, and give her extra treats. And she still likes him more than me.
Looks like we’ll be adopting a dog, soon.
running for rewards
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about all of our weird little quirks. How the skin on my forehead burns a bit when I think about sickness because, back when my mom had cancer, I used to pick at the skin on my forehead as a nervous tick. How I can’t sleep if my t-shirt is too bunched up; I need it to be smooth & straight. Basically- I have a ton of strange little body issues. And it struck me again tonight while watching Dexter with the boyfriend, while watching the girl that plays his sister on the show (his wife in real life). She’s skinny to the point where my skin crawls a bit, and it makes me uncomfortable. & I said that I was nervous about starting to work out- to really work out- because I thought I’d like the results so much that I’d end up looking like her.
And then I realized that this was just another excuse keeping me from one of my goals.
I made a “Life List” a while back in my notebook. Each day I glance at it, thinking about which goal I want to start on- but I haven’t actually started on any of them yet. I wrote them as if they’d simply complete themselves, as if I wouldn’t have to do a thing- but I’d still somehow end up feeling accomplished. Yeah, like that actually happens.
So I thought about something that I could do. And that would be to start training for a 5k. I’ve walked a ton of these. I’ve even half ran/half walked them. But I’ve never RAN one. I’ve never ran anywhere, really. But it is something I’d like to do- because I really hope to run all of my breast cancer 5k’s next year.
And then I thought- if I haven’t had the motivation to start yet, what’s realistically gonna change that?
REWARDS.*
So. Now I’m thinking about things I’d realllly like, something a bit inexpensive but still worth it- something to give me the kick in the butt that I need to get going.
What would YOU like to be rewarded with if you were hitting your goals?
* I totally stole this idea from Sizzle after reading about the new gorgeous boots she was ordering for hitting her weight loss goals. If only I didn’t just buy some new boots..
making a home.
When I moved out my family house a little over a year ago, I didn’t think I’d ever find a place where I was that comfortable. And then I learned the joys of apartment living- and realized that while I may eventually find a very homey place that I’ll be sticking with, it wasn’t going to be anytime in the near future.
So. I learned to make my home. I realized that it doesn’t need to be a house, it just needs to be somewhere that I feel safe. & believe me, I was surprised at myself when I actually thought about what home was to me- because it were things and places that I didn’t even originally particularly like.
Home to me is..
..my campus, covered in leaves of all different colors. Seeing friendly, smiling faces in place of strangers and having someone extra that I could have a nice conversation with. Finding classes that I feel completely at ease and like I’m not just getting the information, I’m enjoying it and excelling with it. Hearing professors that are passionate about something the way I hope to be passionate about something eventually. Hearing the church bells on campus ring as I pull into the school parking lot, and hearing the steady “beep,beep..” of an alarm clock going off at 12:35p on the dot in a dorm room somewhere up above my head. Meeting people that are genuinely smart and really having something to offer- like a girl who started her own club on campus about “green living” and environmental awareness on top of actively participating in volunteering to make dinners for the homeless. Meeting people that inspire me.
..my little duplex. The way the light in the living room isn’t quite bright enough, but the light in the bathroom blinds you while you check yourself out in the mirror. The way my cat greets me at the door every. single. time. I walk in, even if I was just running to toss the garbage outside. My boyfriend sitting on the wooden floor while I sit on the comfy couch, him working on his computer, & me reading. The way the couch isn’t big enough to let us lay how we like to, unless we take off all the cushions. The old fashioned bathroom and the picture frame that stays in there- reminding me how talented my boyfriend is, and how much I love the color green. My neighbor that went out of his way to buy my cat treats when I mentioned we had adopted one.
..my parent’s house. Walking in and seeing my mom, my dad, and my dog, as if it were just another day coming home from school. The way I can still find the Scooby Doo blanket from fifth grade and pull it over my shoulders while I sit and talk to my mom in the kitchen. My dog sitting under me at the kitchen table and nudging my leg as if she was still a puppy, trying to garner some affection. The hugs and the kisses and the “be careful” whenever I leave and head back to the apartment.
I realized that while “home” was never going to be the exact way I’d remember it, it would come to mean new things. It would come to mean my school- which I originally hated- and my duplex- which, okay, I always loved. It would come to include my boyfriend and my cat, and my friends and coworkers and new routines. I found my new home by creating it.
